Whether they’re married or not, couples who live together often see a drop-off in their sex life. I can only assume it’s as frustrating for women as it is for men. Couples sometimes try a number of things to try to spice things up, but sometimes what they really need is to sleep in separate rooms. There are reasons to be skeptical of this, as it does point to some fundamental relationship problems, but if done right, a couple sleeping in separate bedrooms can bring them closer together and lead to more sex.
- It’s easier to sleep alone. Yes, it’s wonderful to share a bed with your partner and feel close to them, but you can’t deny that you sleep better alone. She probably does too. People snore, move around, and do a million different things that can get in the way of a good night sleep. Let’s face it, life is a lot easier when you’re well-rested, so sleeping alone could end up benefiting each of you both personally and professionally.
- More rest means more energy for sex. Fatigue can sometimes be the biggest obstacle standing in the way of having sex more frequently. I mean, who hasn’t been in a situation where your lady friend says, “Not tonight, I’m too tired”? Well, guess what happens after you both got eight solid hours of sleep last night by virtue of sleeping in separate rooms? That’s right, you both have all the energy in the world to have sex.
- Sleeping isn’t sexy. In the beginning, the woman sleeping next to you looks like a perfect angel. You just want to lay in bed next to her all day. But in the long run, there’s very little about sleeping that’s sexy. People can snore, fart, and make all kinds of noises in their sleep that are a major turn-off. At a certain point, it becomes hard to see your partner as a sexual being after watching her drool in her sleep night after night. Women no doubt have the same problem after getting used to a man’s non-stop sleep farting. Fortunately, these are problems you can avoid if you start sleeping in separate rooms.
- The extra bedroom is only for sleep. Just because you sleep in a different bedroom doesn’t mean you have to move out of the master bedroom. You’ll still have your clothes and belongings in the same room as your partner. You two aren’t spending any less time together, so you shouldn’t have to worry about growing apart. You’ve simply chosen to sleep separately so both of you can, ya know, sleep.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is an aspect of love that most couples lose when they move in together but by sleeping in separate bedrooms, you can recreate that feeling, at least a little bit. Sleeping separately will give you a chance to miss each other, and that will bring you closer together and want to be with each other (sexually) more often.
- There are no rules about not sleeping together. Even if you have two different bedrooms, there are no rules in place that forbid the two of you sleeping in the same bed sometimes. If having separate bedrooms does lead to more sex, there’s nothing wrong with the two of you passing out after a crazy night and spending the whole night together. In fact, if you have sex right before bed, it’s probably best that one person doesn’t get up and leave right away. It’s perfectly all right to hang out and cuddle for a while before retreating to your own room.
- You’re happy to see each other in the morning. Waking up next to the same person morning after morning can get boring and redundant, but waking up rested without your partner there next to you can make you excited to get out of bed and see them — and hopefully, they feel the same about you. Feeling that excitement first thing in the morning can definitely get your engine revving and lead to morning sex.
- It’s fun to sneak around. Sleeping in separate bedrooms can feel a little bit like living in a college dorm again. You never know when your partner is going to be in the mood and come surprise you in the middle of the night. Even if all she wants to do is cuddle up next to you, being in separate rooms brings that feeling of longing. In the same room, you can theoretically have sex whenever you want, so you put it off. But in separate rooms, someone has to make the first move, making sex exciting again.
- Don’t worry about what your friends think. The most important thing when making the switch to separate bedrooms is to not listen to what your friends think. Odds are, they’re not going to understand the decision and they’ll assume it’s bad news for your relationship. Don’t let them change your opinion on the matter. If your relationship is in a plateau and the sex is dwindling, consider giving separate bedrooms a try. You may be surprised at the results.