You’d probably like to think that you don’t need any help in this department. You want to believe that you can bring your partner to orgasm every time based purely on your own skill, but you’re only human though and every woman is different. With that in mind, here are some foolproof tips that will help you get her there every single time.
- Be sweet, kind, and caring. This one should be a given it isn’t always so simple. In defense of men, we women do have a tendency to be attracted to the guys who aren’t very nice to us. It’s that awful complex of chasing the unattainable that we all struggle with regardless of gender or sexual preference. If you want to really turn a woman on, be sweet to her in bed. Be kind. Set the mood. Tenderness can sometimes speak volumes about your character, and a woman is more inclined to really let herself feel vulnerable and open to a man who feels safe, which makes it easier for her to orgasm.
- Compliment us. We love to be told all the things you love about us. Whether it’s our hair, the dress we’re wearing, our laugh, the way we smell, whatever. If you’re thinking you like it, tell us! It gets us excited to be with you and experience a sexual encounter with you because it means you’re attracted to us in more ways than one.
- Spend some time setting the scene. This one is pretty subjective and only works if the hookup is happening at your place, but it can make a big difference. When someone takes the time to set the scene for sex and has clearly put in the effort, it’s a major turn-on. Examples of this could include making sure your house or apartment is clean (or at least clean enough for company) or making a great playlist for the occasion. You might decide you don’t want music during the act, but just the fact that you took the time to make one will make her happy. You might even want to go the extra mile and have some candles on your nightstand, ready to light. Maybe your girl is a romantic, lovey-dovey type or maybe she’s not, but it’s the thought that counts. When a woman sees that a man went above and beyond to make the moment beautiful for her, it’s sexy as hell.
- Take your time. Women don’t want to feel rushed in the bedroom. We know you’re excited to get things going, but make the experience feel special by taking the time to really take things slowly while still keeping a nice pace. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, you know? We have all night, right? Don’t treat us like a 15-minute rest stop. If you’re trying to rush through everything, we’ll be thinking a few things and none of them are good. We’re either thinking that you’re trying to get it over with because you don’t actually like us and see us as nothing but a body to use or that you’re rushing through it so you can kick us out and you can go find another girl to hook up within the same night. Just take your time. Relax. Slow and steady wins the race.
- Whisper sweet nothings (or dirty nothings!) in our ears. Obviously, this will depend on whatever your partner is into. It honestly doesn’t matter, just talk to her. Women love to feel like we’re not being forgotten during a sexual encounter. When a guy gets really quiet, a lot of time it’s just because he’s focusing and enjoying himself, but women aren’t able to turn our thoughts off as easily and after a while with nothing but silence, it’s easy for us to assume that you’re fantasizing about someone else or that we’re nothing more than a prop to you. Let us know you’re experiencing this moment with us and not just alongside us. Whisper sweet, cute, or sexy things in our ears. It makes the connection that much more powerful.
- Make us feel comfortable enough to speak up. Often times, women complain that our boyfriends/partners don’t know how to satisfy us in the bedroom because they’re not doing x, y, and z. Sometimes, partners don’t listen to each other we can’t expect you to read our minds. We have to vocalize what we like and what we don’t. By being kind, open, and making us feel safe and acknowledged, you’ll make us feel comfortable enough to speak up and let you know when she wants you to try something different or keep doing something. This is will help better guarantee an orgasm because we’ll be getting more of what we want.
- For the love of God, listen to us. This one is so, so important. Listen to what your partner wants and follow through with it. Take into account every detail and consider it. If we say we don’t like something, don’t just assume we’ll get used to it. Switch it up. If we tell you to slow down, tap the brakes a little. Communication needs to always be clear and understood during sex. Make sure we’re enjoying ourselves the entire time. Don’t just listen to what we’re saying, listen to our body language and our non-verbal cues as well. Again, this will ensure that everyone is getting what they want, everyone is happy the whole time, and everyone will be satisfied in the end.
- Make us feel special if you want there to be a second time). Making sure we feel good, appreciated, and valued during sex is not only a surefire way to get us to orgasm, it’s also a surefire way to get us to hook up with you again. Don’t make us feel like just another number. Even if you’re not planning on pursuing a relationship with us, cuddle with us afterward, talk with us about life in general, call or text us the next day and ask what we’re up to. Women want to feel like we’re hard to forget, so let us know you’re still thinking about us. If you’re already in a committed relationship with us, still go out of your way to make us feel loved and special. It’ll go a long way.